July 16, 2019
Yesterday, I had this all too familiar feeling of a weight on my shoulders and tightness in my stomach – guilt and shame which grew more intense as the day went on.
Why?
I had lied. I lied in my share Sunday night because I was ashamed of the truth and I knew what I had to do. If I didn’t, it would add a new layer of guilt and shame and sowing the seeds for self-hate.
So I got honest immediately last night by apologising for lying and the speaking the whole truth and an amazing thing happened – I was thanked for my honesty and received hugs.
Someone came up to me after saying they completely understood, that they had done the same thing at one point.
Immediately, I felt the weight on my shoulders disappear and the knot in my stomach relaxed.
In my active addiction I told so many lies, my entire truth became a lie and it fed my demons.
Last night I chose to live by telling the truth.
