April 30, 2019
I’ve been in recovery now for nearly 120 days with a couple of significant relapses. Not proud of them, but you know what – I’m not ashamed because without the relapses I would not be where I am today.
Without digging my grave, I would not have the opportunity to begin to realise I am loved, cared about and that I am worthy of love and care. Yes, a rather extreme way to find out, but it is what it is. Nor am I ashamed to say I am powerless over a disease called addiction.
I have noticed the HUGE stigma associated with addiction with people dismissing it or worse, making fun of it in a detrimental way. Some people can abuse a substance without ill effect, but more people, like myself, who use/abuse recreational drugs – including alcohol – are or become addicted. One is too many and a thousand is never enough.
Looking back at my behaviour, I shake my head in disbelief, but at the time what I was doing was completely rational in my addict mind. Stopping was never an option – I would fight to my death to support this rational irrationality. I am, however, responsible for my own recovery – no one else.
Before judging someone’s behaviour, try understanding and having some compassion. It could save a life!
