June 21, 2019
24 days clean and 65 days smoke free.
In order to be honest with others, first I have to be honest with myself.
Honesty means more than just not lying.
The kind of honesty that is truly indispensable in recovery is self-honesty, which is neither easy nor simple to achieve.
In my addiction, I created a storm of self-deception and rationalization, a whirlwind of lies in which the small, quiet voice of self-honesty could not be heard.
I’m not hurting anyone, I can stop anytime, they hate me anyway, I am allowed some fun in my life, I just want to die.
These were some of the lies I told myself.
To become honest with myself, I first must stop lying to myself.
I must become quiet.
Then, in the resulting stillness, I must listen for truth. When I become silent, self-honesty will be there for me to find.
Today I will be quiet and still, listening for the voice of truth within myself.
I will honour the truth I find.
