September 23, 2019
All of you have been so supportive, encouraging and loving. This has given me so much hope. It is for this reason it is so hard to say that I slipped while I was in Toronto.
Once I picked up I remembered again why I wanted so desperately out of that world of paranoia, fear and loneliness. In anger I threw out what was left.
I called my NA friends, my councillor and all asked me what I was going to do about it.
I do not have the luxury of negative thinking, shame or guilt.
I understand now why it happened, and what the trigger was.
I also have hope in that I threw out the remaining supply and did not continue. This is addiction.
This is my daily battle.
Self-pity and shame are dangerous.
So last night I stood before my homegroup and received my white key tag again.
Several came up after to hug me, welcome me back, and told me they have faith and to keep coming back.
I hope I continue to have your support.
