July 25, 2019
Over the last few days I have been observing with a certain amount of curiosity how I react to situations.
I typically respond in one of two ways – with fear or anger.
My self-worth has historically been grounded in fear that people won’t like me if I don’t act a certain way.
This is the result of the fear of being alone.
If I do what people expect of me and still am alone, I get angry. When my boss would call me into her office, I would be afraid. What did I do wrong? Am I in trouble?
Then, fight or flight took hold and my own personal tornado would ensue.
I give my emotions their destructive power. Fear, anger and people pleasing feed my insecurities, lack of self-worth and esteem. These emotional habits led to my drug use.
At the core of the fear response is wanting to feel good. I want people to like me. I want affirmation and approval, but that has to come from me.
The question then is how did this script get written and can I rewrite it?
