October 9, 2019
3o seconds.
That is the attraction.
Everytime I use it is about the first 3o seconds of the rush, the high.
Everytime I am prepared to give everything away for those 30 seconds, which are followed by hours, days or, as was the case, months of hell, a cyclical meaningless haze of irrationality, fear and isolation.
My counselor got me thinking. It bothers me, no it distresses me, but I have to remember, “I didnt get addicted overnight so easy does it.”
I am making progress. The fact I even recognise this is progress.
Patience. Deep breath. One day at a time.
