go away.
but she returns
like smoke curling under the door,
begging me
to step into the glowless fire,
to embrace
the dim, hollow brilliance
of a life cursed.
I whisper,
“I wish this would stop.”
shadows dance in my mind
ghosts of counterfeit love,
warmth deceiving,
filling my veins
with flickers of a dying star.
her grip,
cold moonlight
on my chest
clawing at the ember
freezing inside.
I feel alone.
I know I am not.
but she leans in,
a shadow behind my eyes,
and whispers,
“You are.”
alone with her.
alone without her.
and now,
the reel begins to spin
a movie stitched from static and ash,
a fantasy with no dawn,
no dusk,
only the dim corridor
of infinite midnights
and promises made of smoke.
GET OUT OF MY FUCKING HEAD.
there is no light
in your silver-laced lie.
there is no peace
in your porcelain touch.
you promise me stars,
but bury me in coal.
why, why won’t you leave?
or will you slide
into someone else’s soul
when you’ve hollowed mine?
smooth.
silent.
slithering,
a queen of cinders
dressed as fire.
does this end?
will the sun ever rise again
to cast you back
into the abyss from which you came?
yes.
yes, it will.
my life or yours?
a simple choice.
and yet …
and yet I ache
for the cold velvet
of your arms.
I can’t.
I won’t.
I can.
I will.
she loves me.
she loves not.
I love me.
I love me not.
I
LOVE
ME
and then
a spark,
tiny, trembling,
blinding.
a child’s hand
clutching mine,
pulling me
towards the warmth
of something real.
a voice,
faint,
but made of sunrise …
please.
please.
please don’t leave me again.
I won’t.
but I need
my brothers,
my sisters,
the keepers of the light
when mine grows dim.
I am weak,
but I am forged in fire.
I am shadowed,
but I walk toward the
dawn.
